I get no kick from champagne! - also known as my random post about drinking bourbon

ok people, so I'm trying to get into drinking bourbon for two reasons. One is simple and one is complicated.

1. Guys think it's hot.
2. Bourbon connotations (my own, not sure which are legit): Tennessee [ok so that is Whiskey but I don't know what the dif is so to me they are the same, except I like the word bourbon better], the slow old south, things like big hats and watermelon and the Kentucky Derby, sexy businessmen with weathered faces, sipping on a room temperature tumbler full of bourbon and water because you know the cold effs up the natural complex flavors, old fashioneds, dixie, creole, etc.

The white side of my family are these friggin' awesome cowboy dustbowlers. They are like I don't know how to explain it but I love it like think of cowboy hats and killing rattlesnakes with a shotgun and being really honest and hardworking and into growing your own vegetables and making your own pie crusts from scratch and living in mobile homes. That's how they are OMG I LOVE THEM. So they don't drink bourbon but I bet they "get" it.

Here's the problem: so for instance I'm drinking really good, really expensive bourbon and soda with a bit of lemon rind right now. I got this bourbon at BevMo recently for the above mentioned reasons. Instead of savoring the complex flavors though, I feel like even at this 1:3 bourbon to soda ratio I feel like I'm sipping a fine glass of petrol.

update: I just took a sip and I choked.

So my point is: You can train yourself to to do all kinds of stuff and I'm training myself right now. I just wrote a long winded fantasy about inviting you to my ranch in OK but I deleted it... that was superfluous. Here's what I would serve you for a snack:

KY WATERMELON

also want to make bread pudding with bourbon sauce. KTB.