Scriz

even my normal internet sites are showing signs of the nearness of the bar exam...

2010-07-06T00:11:00.001-07:00

What a bummer. Every Sunday night my ritual is to read the new postsecrets and check the best of the week's texts from last night (I know, hearing that these are my rituals provides great insight into why and how I manage to accomplish so little in my time). Anyways, let's talk about the good, bad and the ugly:

TFLN say:

Postsecret, expressing a much more dark (and sadly, much more true on a deeper level) sentiment:

Looking for the strength to do a massive amount of memorizing in the next 20 days... but I don't think there is a positive affirmation out there that can offset the dread that's creeping in. :/

also OMG

2010-07-02T01:22:00.001-07:00

just realized I just blogged in outline form. feckkk...

no ordinary love

2010-07-02T00:59:00.000-07:00

So I just took a lot of tylenol PM, and a beer (contraindicated!), so I don't want anyone to get too excited, but I'm gonna try to come back to le blog. I have an INCREDIBLE new camera the my bf's mom got me for my graduation (Olympus, PEN EP 2, ya be jelz), but I haven't even had time to play with it or learn how to play with it for that matter and it's very upsetting. So I'm gonna start.

I need to become one with my camera before August, when I will be spending about 10 days in NY and about 8 days in Virgin Gorda at the home of a good family friend.

In any case, I am CONSTANTLY thinking about bloggable topics which I never implement because I spend too much time researching and obsessing about the topics then have to direct my peabrain in other directions lest my monomania overtake all. I will set forth a few of these topics and maybe a brief synopsis of each as a reminder to you, and to myself, that we should look into this more and maybe contemplate writing something about it:

1. Toxoplasmosis - the most interesting thing ever EVER in the history of the last 5 days of my rampant googling lifestyle. Basically, ruh roh tylenol pm gotta make this quick: So there is this parasite, the toxoplasma. This parasite can live in all kinds of creatures, even us. It can live there, but it really prefers to live in one kind of creature: cats. Only when it finds a cat host-body can the toxoplasma complete its life cycle, it's like Schopenhaur's conception of "the will to live," but for a parasitic disease. It's beautiful and poetic, it's NATURE, people. Toxoplasmosis had to find a better way to find and invade the body of cats. So you know what it did, it fucking LEARNED HOW TO CONTROL MINDS. I know, this is all very hard to believe. It's all very unscientific sounding. But look, I'm gonna break it down for you:

for a long time, scientists have known that when toxoplasma infects rodents, like say rats, something happens to the rats that makes them do something strange. Instead of running from cats, the rats will sort of... sort of like seek cats out. Like they will be attracted to the smells of cats, they won't want to run from them. They will put themselves in danger. Scientists were like... WUT? first off we know toxoplasma can only live in cats, secondly, did anyone notice that rats who get it like basically try to get caught by cats? well, it's bc the toxoplasma goes into your brain, and it basically makes itself into something that your brain will think is just a normal brain thing like a serotonin just riding along just part of the normal firing of synapses. but really it's changing your thinking so you will do its bidding (i.e. find a cat for it to get into).
Scientists for a long time accepted all this, and knew humans had toxoplasma all the time nbd. But basically, the idea that it could change human behavior was something many scientists postulated but testing the theory was too much of a clusterfuck and they prob also didn't want to study something that sounds so absured, right? Plus there were just too many independent variables etc. like who's to say ppl with toxoplasmosis don't just get headaches more bc they are doing x, y or z differently. So who's to say if the toxoplasma caused differences in behavior or the difs in behavior led to risky behavior that made you more likely to get it. whatever this is way too long already, sorry.
anyways they now have basically proven that it does change humans in some fascinating ways. Personally, I don't think it's good or bad (ok I think it's good secretly and totally believe I have it), but ppl who have it exhibit some very interesting difs:

WAY more prone to getting into car accidents, which is believed to just be incidental to the one that I am really most interested in:
ppl who have it are less cautious in general. Engage in more high risk behaviors, don't reflect as much etc.
women who have it are rated as being more attractive. They also I guess tend to be more promiscuous
men who have it tend to be rated as being less attractive. They exhibit some negative qualities such as possesiveness and jealousy more than others.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY: since some countries have low rates, and some have much much higher rates (for example, like 1/9 Americans has it or something; and like 2/3 of French (ok I totally made those numbers up but you get the point))... there are now questions about whether this parasite has like, you know, shaped history in some small way by shaping actions and attitudes of entire cultures. I mean, this all sounds very sci-fi, but isn't it like the most amazing shit ever? I think it is.

2. Studying for the bar - JK! Not something I want to blog about. Maybe something I should write about in a special notebook with a tiny padlock on it, preceded by the words "Dear Diary, ..."

3. ummmm... I swear I had like 15 things to talk about. Like how sometimes I will be trying to study then I will be overcome with the need to know right this moment how do chickens lay eggs, then I google it then I watch a video on youtube of a chicken laying an egg then I click on "cow giving birth" and before you know it I'm like 6 pages into a scientific study that I don't even understand at all on the topic of antibiotic treatment of dairy cows treated with Posilac* (*also known as recombinant bovine growth hormone). UGH. where am I even going with all this!?

4. This list will be flushed out tomorrow. My brainstorms will all come flooding back to me tomorrow as soon as I get even a peripheral glance at my civ pro notes...

plastic surgery nightmares!

2010-02-22T22:36:00.000-08:00

Because my life is a bit of a snooze-fest lately and because I'd rather regale you with tales from my epic past as an administrative assistant for a famed Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, I'll give you inquiring minds some thoughts on my sordid bhills chop shop past. Warning: this post took an unexpected turn for the earnest. Hey, I can't control what my brain communicates to my hands...

I took a year off between college and law school mainly because, I'll be honest, I was too busy dicking around my last year of college to even consider my future. I dreamed of traveling the world in this year or working somewhere really cool or at least partying a lot and spending some months working on a cruise ship or something. Cold reality set in: my rich gay dads were not going to bankroll me, I was not willing to just stay at home for this whole year, there would be no world travel, I needed a job.

Fortunately, a close friend from study abroad was getting ready to go to med school and after taking a job at UCLA medical's neuroscience center, where they asked her to do the unthinkable for an ivy educated woman: data entry... she quit and found this job working for a plastic surgeon and she was just about to leave. I slipped cozily into her old position: managing charts filled with polaroids of the before and after breast augmentations and chin implants of the celebs I loved, labeling vats of liposucked fat to go to pathology, and wheeling drugged up/vomiting pornstars, models and trophy wives out a back door to where their drivers waited to whisk them away to a cush recovery center where they would have 24/7 nurses and massages while they de-puffed.

This life was, as you can imagine, a whole new world for me. Aging stars would turn down their Tom Ford sunglasses to look at me and remark "gorgeous! just lovely" but I knew it was only my coveted youthfulness that enthralled them. I got to sit around most days surrounded by beautiful art, reading Vanity Fair and scanning pictures of Scumberly Stewart's pre-op photos to send to my girlfriends, sometimes stashing a few sample ambiens for the night ahead and using the samples of face creams I will never be able to afford myself.

What stands out to me most about that year though are the women I met doing that job. Contrary to what my socially awkward personality suggests, I love pretty much everyone who has two matching chromosomes and I got so much out of my relationships with some of Dr. X's clients. The women of bhills and those who are able to fly to bhills to have the best doctors do their work are stunning creatures. Even more gorgeous than the models and famous actresses were the ladies of leisure - kept women who spent all their time doing pilates, shopping, getting facials etc. These women along with the high powered jet-setting executives who made their own money all shared a common trait: they were unhappy with themselves.

I could go on and on about how our culture has damaged us. I think The Beauty Myth is real and I believe that media portrayals of women and our cultural obsession with looks is a way to subjugate women by demeaning us, weakening us in both our personal and social value, and then preying on us as consumers... but then if we succumb to what the culture tells us about beauty, is it ever possible to actually feel beautiful?

So many times I saw 19-20 year old girls who were jaw-dropping, air brushed babes walk in and it killed me to know they were changing their unbelievably perfect bodies or faces. I died thinking of it, I had to physically restrain myself from guffawing when young actresses told me they wanted a consult about lipo, chin implants and getting a larger set of implants. And worse, seeing them come back for follow up visits as they healed and realized that they still felt bad about themselves, that their long awaited surgery hadn't really changed their worlds like they thought it would.

Like most women of my age and social background, I'm no stranger to feeling insecure, ugly, chubby, etc. but to see that even THESE almost inhuman 10s with tons of money and fantastic clothes and perfect everything were rankling inside with shame, feeling like their looks were everything and they looked terrible was a wake up call. I am not the picture of confidence nor can I pretend to LOVE my looks, but I understand very deeply that happiness and satisfaction have to come from within. Being beautiful means nothing if you are sad, and being obsessed with becoming beautiful will make you sad. AND YOU ALREADY ARE BEAUTIFUL and you were to begin with, that's either a crying shame or yours to own - you decide.

my favorite

2010-02-17T17:57:00.000-08:00

because I have too many blog post ideas and most of them are probably not appropriate, I just want to summarize a lot of what's on my mind by stating that I believe we're all in this big mess together.

What should I do for Lent?*

2010-02-16T19:08:00.000-08:00

p.s. - stop voting for spending freeze you bitches, bc I already will have to be on involuntary freeze since I literally spent almost all my student loans already.

*Disclaimer: I am, as always, rabidly atheist. But I do love resolutions and Lent was always fun in my Catholic school youth. That is how I first became a veggie 13 years ago!

CHAT ROULETTE

2010-02-15T14:49:00.000-08:00

I recently found out about this amazing new site called chatroulette.com. Here is what happens: you have a computer and a webcam and you sign on to chatroulette and are instantly connected with a random stranger somewhere else in the world. you see them, they see you and either one of you clicks "next" to be connected to the next hotter/more naked/friendly looking person and either talk to them or keep going.

The first time I signed on to chat roulette here is what I saw: a bunch of random high school guys in what looked like a dorm, a guy in a ninja mask listening to metal music, a naked girl, a penis, several hot guys...

so, I was just exploring and still too scared to have any convos but I signed back on to chatroulette drunkenly last night and here's what happened this time: lots of azn dudes, lots of guys with their webcams disconnected who were friendly enough but wtf i want to see you?, LOTS of dicks getting stroked, a few groups of people holding up signs to the camera saying things like "BOOBS" and "show your tits" and then clicking next when I said no. Being drunk on chatroulette was amazing. Yes, I said it. I love web 2.0 and i love seeing hot college boys laying in their dorm beds with creepy little smiles on. I'm going to go ahead and own up to the fact that in my state of intoxication last night I told more than a few erections "gtg luv u" before clicking next on them. HILARIOUS! amirite?

also awesome: about 19/20 chatrouletters are males and the vast majority are bw about 15-33. In all my time spent on this site I only saw 2 creepy old dudes and that's 2 out of about 100.

HERE IS WHAT I DO NOT LOVE:

being connected to hot dudes and/or NOT hot dudes who see me and immediately click next. like omg are you kidding me?!
The good news is that some really really hot guys and one really hot girl DID want to talk to me and I nexted people who would never talk to me in real life.

If I were in a more lonely stage of life, I would be all up in this chatroulette bidness because I freaking LOVED the chatrooms of my youth and this is like that but way way better. For now, probably only going to do it when I'm drunky with friends and needing a laugh...

I get no kick from champagne! - also known as my random post about drinking bourbon

2010-02-11T19:22:00.000-08:00

ok people, so I'm trying to get into drinking bourbon for two reasons. One is simple and one is complicated.

1. Guys think it's hot.
2. Bourbon connotations (my own, not sure which are legit): Tennessee [ok so that is Whiskey but I don't know what the dif is so to me they are the same, except I like the word bourbon better], the slow old south, things like big hats and watermelon and the Kentucky Derby, sexy businessmen with weathered faces, sipping on a room temperature tumbler full of bourbon and water because you know the cold effs up the natural complex flavors, old fashioneds, dixie, creole, etc.

The white side of my family are these friggin' awesome cowboy dustbowlers. They are like I don't know how to explain it but I love it like think of cowboy hats and killing rattlesnakes with a shotgun and being really honest and hardworking and into growing your own vegetables and making your own pie crusts from scratch and living in mobile homes. That's how they are OMG I LOVE THEM. So they don't drink bourbon but I bet they "get" it.

Here's the problem: so for instance I'm drinking really good, really expensive bourbon and soda with a bit of lemon rind right now. I got this bourbon at BevMo recently for the above mentioned reasons. Instead of savoring the complex flavors though, I feel like even at this 1:3 bourbon to soda ratio I feel like I'm sipping a fine glass of petrol.

update: I just took a sip and I choked.

So my point is: You can train yourself to to do all kinds of stuff and I'm training myself right now. I just wrote a long winded fantasy about inviting you to my ranch in OK but I deleted it... that was superfluous. Here's what I would serve you for a snack:

KY WATERMELON

also want to make bread pudding with bourbon sauce. KTB.

ok so

2010-02-09T22:44:00.000-08:00

the important lesson i learned today is never put very important life sustaining pills in your pocket because you might decide to do a load of laundry then they might be gone forever because they got washed (and FUCK FUCK FUCUUUUCKCKCKCKE they are gone) and you ~~might~~ WILL feel suicidal. Instead of actually suiciding yourself, you'll probably engage in heavy emotional eating which will perpetuate the vicious gridlock of misery that has taken over your life.

I am going to see the Ballet Trocadero de Montecarlo for Valentine's Day. I realize i have a humble readership of only two but I want to tell you, this is a tranny ballet and I'm sooo excited it looks awesome! They are all like classically trained ballerinas and they do both the male and female parts along with some silly numbers. But anyways I just can't wait! Here is one famous number I'm dying to see:

a haiku based on the true story of shackled youth in juvenile hall!

2010-02-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

note: Learning it now in Juvenile Justice class.

all the kids shackled,
this violates due process!
and the court agreed.

From our country conditions expert - amazing.

2010-02-02T09:05:00.001-08:00

Genevieve, Brooke, Raha and Everyone who made this great victory possible:

My wife and I were deeply moved by Raha’s beautiful letter, as well as by all of your comments. Since I was born and raised with radios, I’m not sure that this will go out to all of you, but I ask Raha to make sure that it does.

Over the past eighteen years, we have been involved in more than 360 political asylum cases (216 of them LGBT), over 50 of them with clinics at law schools. None of those cases was more meticulously prepared and brilliantly directed than this one.

What made all the difference this time, however, was the dedication and deep commitment (yes, love) which all of you demonstrated so many times. We are truly honored to have worked with such incredible people.

What Raha didn’t mention is that my original affidavit was a monstrous 200-pages long and that she and Genevieve and Brooke cut it down to 100 pages without losing anything of import. I stand in awe of what they accomplished.

Finally, there are still so few people who will even get involved in a gay–lesbian political asylum case, let alone a transgender one. But as Robert Frost wrote so eloquently:

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,

That wants it down.

Thank you all so very much for helping to tear down the wall around that young lady.

All Our Love and Admiration,

Tom and Adele Davies

Thomas M. Davies Jr
Professor Emeritus of Latin American History
Director Emeritus, Center for Latin American Studies
San Diego State University

a very short story about the human condition written for Linzi the only person who i showed my blog to

2010-02-01T23:24:00.000-08:00

so there is this ~~giant~~ colossal squid swimming through the ocean and it swims into a forest of kelp. As you know, kelp can grow up to 3' in one day and the squid is thinking to herself shit i feel like I'm getting lost I'm all turned around right now. She starts wrapping her tentacles around the seaweed and trying to rip it out of the sand so she can get outside of this forest but the kelp is somehow stronger than her like it's bolted into the ground or made of some kind of industrial rubber. So she knows her last resort is to float up to the top of the water where the kelp is really thin then find her way out but when she goes up there she gets a sunburn, then some asshole in a fishing boat harpoons her. She gets away but then she still feels really out of it bc she is bleeding and she left not one but TWO of her tentacles on the harpoon. Life goes back to normal after this extremely bad day.

2009-11-04T22:20:00.001-08:00

To remind me of the people I've helped and the great things I have been a part of thanks to the Immigration Law Clinic. I worked on the case below for my entire 2L year (things were moving slow, waiting to hear back on the BIA appeal, trying to get documents from the court, etc.) This case was not particularly devastating for me, especially near the end, but this story is very compelling.

This man is 80 years old, has dementia or some sort of memory problems, he has lived in this country for over 40 years, is wheelchair bound, and DHS just spent over two years trying to deport him over a typo on a record of judgment. i.e. because of a tiny, stupid mistake in the criminal court, this man nearly was deported from this country. The incompetence of the DHS attorneys is astounding: it took them over two years to even bother checking what his actual conviction was -- and that was only when we physically mailed him ALL the documents showing them. Anyways. We win. nya-nya. <3

The email my supervisor sent out:

All –

Through the hard work of Genevieve Roman (3L), Janet Kim (3L), and Diem Tran (3L), the Clinic was able to successfully terminate removal proceedings on behalf of an 80 year old Lawful Permanent Resident with substantial physical disabilities, after getting involved with the case over one year ago. The Client is a citizen of Mexico who has resided legally in the United States since 1990.

The case came to us from Karen Burke, Esq. of O'Toole, Rothwell, Nassau & Steinbach in Washington DC who had been assigned the case by the BIA pro bono project. Our client was not represented at the immigration court level. Despite having been charged under a statute that only covers possession offenses, he was ordered removed for having been convicted of sale. Neither the Judge nor the Trial Attorney took the time to look up the statute to see that the statute did not cover sale offenses, whatsoever.

Ms. Burke successfully litigated the case before the BIA and it was remanded for the Judge to correctly assess his conviction and whether or not he was eligible for relief. Despite having completed her representation of the Client, Ms. Burke continued to advocate on our client’s behalf, convincing the Clinic to take the case on remand since the client had already suffered greatly as a result of not being represented in court the first time around.

While the case was pending before the BIA, Genevieve Roman investigated and obtained documents that established that our client was convicted of possession and not sale. Genevieve then facilitated post conviction relief for the Client with additional pro bono representation by Wes Hamilton, an attorney in Exeter, California, in the form of an expungement of his only conviction.

Due to his age and compromised health, our client then took a trip outside of the country and the Clinic facilitated and negotiated his safe return back to the United States, despite the legal dangers presented by an exit from the country during removal proceedings. Teresa Medina and Martha Jaime were instrumental in helping us remain in close communication with the client’s family during that time.

Once on remand, Janet Kim and Diem Tran drafted several pre-trial motions, ultimately resulting in a final motion to terminate arguing that under pursuant to the law in the 9th Cir. expungement of a first time possession offense eliminates any immigration consequences of that conviction.

Yesterday, the Court granted the Motion to Terminate, restoring client’s status to that of Lawful Permanent Resident and terminating removal proceedings against him. Through the pro bono advocacy of Ms. Burke, Mr. Hamilton, and the Immigration Law Clinic, the client is not only not facing the prospect of removal but has had his only criminal conviction expunged.

This case highlights how much can get done on behalf of someone in need where pro bono counsel is available, particularly where age and health become such important factors in the case – as well as the importance of collaboration between immigration and criminal defense counsel.

Thanks to everyone for their hard work!